real talk

If you really knew me you'd know that Saturdays are my favorite day.
It's where you can create your own day.
If you really knew me you'd know that I waste 50% of my day on Netflix.
....I'm not too ashamed of it..
If you really knew me you'd know that I prefer listening over talking.
I never am comfortable talking out loud in front of people.
If you really knew me you'd know that books are the 4th most important thing in my life.
I absolutely adore Jane Austen's works.
If you really knew me you'd know the Arizona is a second home to me.
3rd year mark was this past summer.
If you really knew me you'd know that I am very nostalgic.
Some memories are unforgettable and are left there for a purpose.
If you really knew me you'd know that whenever I say 'just kidding' 75% of the time I don't mean it.
If you really knew me you'd know how excited I am to get out of Utah.
And also to graduate.
If you really knew me you'd know that I apply hand sanitizer a lot more than I should.
I hate the idea of getting sick.
If you really knew me you'd know that keeping eye contact is hard for me.


-Sophie Hayes

remember

"Do you remember?"






 I could never forget

the sound of silence

sit silently

quietly listen

there will never be silence 

What my heart is

My heart is far more complex then a 5,000 piece puzzle.
And as vague as London fog.
My heart is both head strong and meek.
It is it's worst enemy and it's only savior.


My heart is what I am most afraid of, but also it is the thing that gives
me courage.

      //I wish to discover the unknown. Explore. I wish to explore the unknown
        Just me
              my back pack
                      and a willing heart.//
 
    

    

Death

  "The reality is you will grieve forever, you

  will not get over the loss of a loved one; you

  you will learn to live with it. You will heal

   and you will rebuild yourself around the loss

   you have suffered. You will be whole again,

  but you will never be the same again. Nor 

   should you be the same. Nor should you

 want to."

 -E.K.R

Death is never an easy subject to discuss, but eventually we reach a point in our lives where it seems to be the only subject we're talking about. Death brings on a a unique kind of pain. It's one that once it happens it will always be there. We lose something in us that we will never get back. We are changed. We are able to understand and love more deeply.

Death unifies families and friends. We may not ever be fully healed, but we are provided with love and comfort from others that are hurting just as well. I can't quite say it's inspiring, but it is moving.

I don't write about my personal experiences with death. I don't like reminiscing in the dark memories. The waves of emotion are too much for me to feel in such a fragile state. 

After all the grieving and pain that was felt we allow ourselves to come up out of the shadows and stand on our two feet stronger than ever.

something on my mind

We will never be able to understand the world.
We live in a world that glorifies all decisions and lifestyles.... And yet society still remains
un-supporting.
The world is very contradicting.
It leaves us feeling like were constantly stumbling in the dark.
We sit in our own solitude wondering if we'll ever be on common grounds with societies standards.
We will never be able to please the world.
For a while I was taught that I could choose what I wanted and what would make me happy, but
with the world and societies standards breathing down my back I felt like my agency was none
existent. I thought I got to choose what mattered in my life.
Many people in this world are fake (what's real in this world anymore?) Don't for one second
believe they have things more figured out than you do because they don't.
We are all looking for answers. We may not even know the questions to them. We just want
closure.


The world is like a Monet. Its beautiful from a far, but up close its a mess.

|fear|

fear is something that's inescapable.
we customize our fears with out even knowing it. It's something that's unconsciously done.
if we knew what we were doing, fears wouldn't exist.

we feel alive with fear.
adrenaline and our human senses are at war within ourselves.
the beat of our hearts rings through our ears and pulses through our finger tips.

our ability to trust is destroyed when fear enters.
actions turn irrational on us. Our minds are afraid.
fear plagues the mind.

fear always has a hold on us.
tight or loose
it depends how much thought we put into it.

fear is an illusion of the mind.

-All Pictures Have Stories To Them-

All pictures have stories to them....

...... we just have to understand what they are.

how to cure an already bad day

- Be optimistic, negativity never brings happiness.

- Try to be forgiving. It's easy to make meaningless grudges toward people when
 you feel down.

- Take a nap. Sometimes you just need a bit more sleep.

- do something that makes you happy. Getting back to yourself is important.

- Get involved in service. Forget about how your day is going and change someone
else's in a positive manner.

- Notice all the love you have been given.

Things I can't | Things I can

           Things I Can't

- I can't sing. Good, I can't sing good.

- I can't draw, I wish I could though.

- I can't always get an A on my tests, even if  I spend all night studying.

- I can't be okay with the idea that one day I may lose the person I care about most.

- I can't always please people, I'm only one person.

- I can't guarantee that this week will go by how I would like it to, but I'll survive.

- I can't control people decisions, but I wish they would take a hint.

- I can't give my honest opinion to people because I know they will disagree with me. I hate conflict.

- I can't make decisions fast enough because I think too much.

- I can't stop myself from liking you even when I list out your flaws twice.

- I can't always be an honest person, honesty can hurt.

- I can't fix all my mistakes, but I do learn from them.

- I can't be happy when I know I've wronged a person. Sometimes my pride excuses my behavior.

             Things I can

- I can live my life knowing that I'm always improving those things I can't do.

- I can make long lists.

different

constantly looking
at everyone I despise,
wishing for their life.

a haiku about social media.


(my sister wrote this.)

|Silver and Gold| by City and Color

http://youtu.be/hFVhKwtIPqc

Last night I dreamt that they dropped a bomb
Oh the seas ran dry and the winds had calmed
The skyscrapers fell, and crumbled to dust,
And their skeletons of steel were covered in rust

And everything I loved and feared had all at once disappeared

Colors were drained straight from the sky
And nothing living had survived
Mountains were merely removed from the earth
And silver and gold had lost all its worth

And everything I loved and feared had all at once disappeared
Oh everything I loved and feared had all at once disappeared

I woke from the dream in a cold, cold sweat
I was full of doubt and deep regret,
For suddenly it was all so clear to me;
There was nothing left in which to believe

And everything I loved and feared had all at once disappeared
Oh everything I loved and feared had all at once disappeared

 

Words To Live By

 Seven Dangers of Human Virtue


      1. Wealth without work.
      2. Pleasure without conscience.
      3. Knowledge without ethics.
      4.Business without ethics.
      5. Science without humanity.
      6. Religion without sacrifice.
      7. Politics without principles.


  -Mahatma Gandhi

| Simple Love |

That feeling you get when you when you make someone laugh.

That feeling you get when you read a good book.

That feeling you get when you lie down in your bed after a long day.

That feeling you get when your favorite song comes on.

                                                    .   .   .

All these feelings have one thing in common: love. I know it doesn't seem it,but 

this is love in the simplest way. Nothing big enough to talk about.

But also nothing that's too small to be unnoticed.

A simple love.

procrastination

This problem has plagued are generation for centuries. It's what makes school miserable.

The work field seem over bearing. And personal issues left unresolved.

The simple life is what we'd like, but in a society like ours it's impossible. We push the

problems away. Overwhelming thoughts course through our minds leaving us feeling lost. 

We shy away from the inevitable.

We can't keep living like this, we hate feeling the guilt 

and the stress we face when dealing with it. There's a easy solution to this problem.

                                               Do it now!

I know it's easier said then done, but it's worth it, trust me.

what keeps me awake

When the busy day ceases that is when my mind is wide awake.
My deepest thoughts come out, leaving me restless.
Questions come up and I am left looking for an answer.
Embarrassing moments haunt my thoughts.
Reminiscing on the past leaves a smile on my lips.
Before I know it my clock reads 5 am. Whats the point in sleeping now?

Humans

When we first start out in this life, we are like a sheet of paper.

Clean, untouched and new. 

We all wish some time in our lives that it could always 

be like that, but that's not realistic.

Life gets in the way and ruins that clean piece of paper.

Our self confidence crinkles.

Tears pour from us causing our paper to shrivel and hide.

Societies cruelties fade our paper.

And some  relationships pull and tear our delicate paper.

 There is always a beauty to life and here it is. 

Kindness lifts our spirits making our crinkled paper even out.

Laughter causes our shriveled and hidden side of us to come out.

We become stronger as we live and society's opinions have no affect on us.

Love binds our paper together making it stronger than ever.

                                                       .   .   .

By the end of your life, your piece of paper turns into a work of art.

Thoughts Untold

My mind is too messy to find the right thoughts. I love to be organized but when it comes to my mind, it's a lost cause. That's the thing about me -- I don't say much out loud because I am having wars in my mind. I over-think things too often. That's why I never speak my mind. 

Solitude for me is ideal. It heals the heart and cures the soul. In a world like our own, we lack happiness and hope. That's what makes us such fragile people. We deny the pain that is clearly evident. We look at distractions as escapes from the real world. Insecurities beat down on us until are left with nothing. But hold on, we'll always make it through. Along with us comes a great story to tell.